"This only is certain, that there is nothing certain; and nothing more miserable and yet more arrogant than man."

"No mortal man, moreover is wise at all moments."

"In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain."

"In comparing various authors with one another, I have discovered that some of the gravest and latest writers have transcribed, word for word, from former works, without making acknowledgment."

"Why is it that we entertain the belief that for every purpose odd numbers are the most effectual?"

"The best plan is to profit by the folly of others."

"Coersion, after all, merely captures man. Freedom captivates him."

"The more you pay for a rubber flower, the harder it is to say it's not real."

"Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead."

"Men, like nails, lose their usefulness when they lose direction and begin to bend."

"There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angles."

"I aughta join a club and beat you over the head with it."