"Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake."

"Cocaine is God's way of saying you make too much money."

"Technical term is narcissism. You can't believe everything is your fault unless you also believe you're all powerful."

"Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve."

"But if used for retribution, magic is vengeance incarnate."

"Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries."

"All last year we tried to teach him English, and the only word he learned was million."

"Genealogy is based on the obviously silly idea that there is no such thing as a bastard."

"Being in a ship is like being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned."

"Despair has been called the unforgivable sin--not presumably because God refuses to forgive it but because it despairs of the possibility of being forgiven."

"The whole universe is one. There is only one Self in the universe, only One Existence."

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."