"No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown."

"Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood."

"A good End cannot sanctifie evil Means; nor must we ever do Evil, that Good may come of it."

"Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders, than from the arguments of its opposers."

"True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment."

"All excess is ill, but drunkenness is of the worst sort. It spoils health, dismounts the mind, and unmans men. It reveals secrets, is quarrelsome, lascivious, impudent, dangerous and bad."

"Changing a college curriculum is like moving a graveyard--you never know how many friends the dead have until you try to move them!"

"A grand passion is the privelege of people who have nothing to do."

"In so far as the mind is stronger than the body, so are the ills contracted by the mind more severe than those contracted by the body."

"Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses."

"Love is a common bond that occurs between two people when each thinks they have something to gain through the other's stupidity."

"What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question."