"If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate."

"Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management."

"A picture says more than a thousands words, but which words are these?"

"They'll talk to ya and talk to ya and talk to ya about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, its gonna scare 'em."

"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all."

"Never play leapfrog with a unicorn."

"I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise."

"Maybe it's what's inside that counts, but being told you look good feels good!"

"Judgement of beauty can err, what with the wine and the dark."

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious."

"The Bible is God's chart for you to steer by, to keep you from the bottom of the sea, and to show you where the harbor is, and how to reach it without running on rocks or bars."

"Shopping is better than sex. If you're not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like."